The phenomenon of pain is only for the one who has it, the others around cannot feel what you go through. There is not enough language to describe pain there are only metaphors that can give an idea. An inside and an outside perspective on pain. Pain is an individual experience and not something that is the same for all minds and bodies. To catch the essence of the pain is almost impossible. To suffer is more of a story. It has context and depends on time. No descriptive words are enough to describe; pain has a form, an expression, like in art, like “the scream”, like Marina Abramovic.
By situating myself in a never-ending action I perform metaphorically my own painful feelings. In the state of doing so I am looking forward. I know there can come a time soon where bad feelings are only a memory. More of a place that I can decide for myself that I want to visit instead of being right in it, unwillingly, for too long, too much. And I wonder if I would be able to remember exactly how painful this pain is? As we seem to have the ability to forget, or pain in the memory seems to be another kind of pain than the present pain we experience. I don’t know if that is positive or negative, if agony can teach us something, and stay with us in a representative form than the “real” one. I wonder how my memory will work? Sometimes you look back and think it was funny. But it was horrible. Sometimes you look back and you get emotional again.
Memory, metaphore & performance Ellinor Ljungkvist
Production management PACT & Atelier
Photography Dirk Rose
Premier PACT Zollverein Performing Arts Choreographic Centre NRW & Atelier - Platform for Experimental Arts Germany 2016
Thanks to the Experimental Platform for the Arts & PACT Zollverein Performing Arts Choreographic Centre NRW for research- & production support.